Soulmate
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: *one shot* Burke's fifty-six, unmarried and starting to question his choices thanks to the appearance of a stranger. Character death.


**AUTHORS NOTE: So I was playing on MSN games with Lauren when a lightning bolt struck me on the side of my head. I wanted an emotional one shot about Burke! We don't have any Burke stories people!! So here it is. If it's lame, I blame the fact I tend to write at silly hours in the morning. Oh and I got unblocked on my dongle meaning I'll always have it. YAAAAY.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Taggart team but I do own my OC's and Burke didn't get married in this... because it didn't go well with my line :)**

*******

Jackie's head rested against Burke's shoulder as the four of them sat in the little pub where they normally gathered after the end of a case. This latest one had been rather brutal. The body of a four year old little girl had been found floating in the river and the team had struggled to find evidence to come up with whodunit. The parents were caring and loving, the grandparents lived too far away and she was obviously too young to have made any enemies of her own. To find out that it had been her mother's lover that had cruelly murdered her because mother was prepared to walk away from her marriage but not without her princess. He didn't like the idea of baggage. It had emotionally torn all four of them. The door to the pub opened and Jackie felt Burke's shoulder stiffen under her ear so she sat up to see who had arrived.

A woman stood at the front door and that was the thing she was looking at. Even though she held an umbrella in her hands, her dishwater blonde hair was wet and clinging to her cheeks, her eyes were wide with horror as she looked around the packed club and her grip tightened on the umbrella. She wore an oversized raincoat and a simple silk nightgown underneath but it clung to her body because the rain had made it stick. This made it obvious that she wore nothing underneath. Her feet were bare and her ankles bleeding as if she'd walked quite a distance to get here.

"Allie..." Burke whispered under his breath and Jackie looked at him. She saw something in his eyes that she hadn't seen before so she moved away giving him that room he needed to stand up and move towards the woman. His hand tenderly curled around her cheek before he pulled her into a tight hug.

She clung to the lapels of his jacket, her eyes still wide with fear as she stared at the table where his three colleagues sat, "I'm so scared, Mattie!" She whispered before turning her face so that she could bury it into his chest. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, his lips buried into her hair as he realised that he was never going to let anyone hurt again like he once promised. He signalled for Robbie to come over and help him.

Lying her gently down on the spare bed, Burke indicated for the others to follow him downstairs where he took them into the kitchen so he could pour them drinks that he now owned them. Sitting down at his kitchen table, they stared at him silently so that they could wait for him to explain what was happening.

"Her name is Arlene McCredie." He whispered his hand tightening around his whiskey glass as he realised that he didn't know what to say who she was to him because just because they'd once been lovers didn't mean he had a hold to her anymore. He actually had nothing to her anymore because it had been ten years since he'd last seen her. Ten years since they had buried her husband, the man that Burke believed had vindictively taken her away from him. He sighed as he looked into his glass before drowning it empty. "She's an old friend."

"What's wrong with her boss?"

"The doctors believe that after her husband passed away something happened to her mental stability but they're not quite sure what." He explained sitting down at the table, his hand lying flat as he stared at it. "I promised to look after her and see where that's got us..." No one wanted to argue with him at that moment because the flat hand had since clenched into a fist. However, he just closed his eyes and went back fifty years...

_The young Burke grumbled as he listened to his friend tell him fascinating facts about the snail that they'd just found in the bottom of his garden. Matt wasn't a patient young boy and he didn't like it when people like Jeremy Addams though he knew more than he did. Jeremy's mammy and daddy had more money than Burke's and Burke was always made sure he knew that fact by Mrs Addams. She didn't like Burke and he hated coming over to here play but because his mammy needed to work, he found himself with the hated woman every day after school. This would be where he stayed until his mammy came to pick him up after her day. _

_Jeremy had been shouted up to the house by his mammy and Burke was sitting down on the floor, his legs crossed with the snail on his hand. He was under strict instructions to make sure that nothing happened to Jeremy's snail because he was going to keep that one for a pet. Matt didn't quite believe with caging animals like snails because they were meant to be free but he'd long since learnt not to argue with Jeremy. _

"_What you doing?" came the curious voice of a girl and Matt jumped which resulted in him nearly losing the snail. He stood up so that he could turn to glower at the little girl stood at the other side of the fence to the next door neighbour's garden. She was a cute little thing with fiery red hair tied back in pigtails, summer green grass eyes that twinkled with happiness, her pale skin covered in dark brown freckles. Matt assumed she was the new neighbour Mrs Addams had been talking about because he'd sure not seen her around before._

"_What you do that for!" He bit back the urge to shout because his mammy had said that you shouldn't shout at little girls. It upsets them. He sure didn't want to upset this one, she looked too fragile. _

"_I'm sorry." She whispered before smiling a big grin at him, her two front teeth missing and Matt remembered how his mother had once teased him about missing teeth always showed that you had been kissing someone of the other sex meaning that this girl had been kissing boys! He just stared at her before starting to move towards her because he was as curious about her as she obviously was about him. "Can I see him?"_

_He looked over at with her an assessing eye but nodded anyway as he moved over to her fence, he handed her the snail before jumping over the fence to be sat next to her too. She just stared at the snail with the same admiration that he had. She didn't even try and attempt to tell him any stories about what the snail could do, she was just happy holding him. "What's your name?"_

"_Arlene." She replied as she handed him back the snail. "What's yours?"_

"_Matthew."_

"_I like the name Mattie." She admitted and he looked over at her realising that no one had ever called him that before. He got Matt off his mammy and everyone else called him Matthew._

"_I do too." He said and she looked at him wistfully. "What's wrong?" He asked wincing almost straight away. His mother said that even though he was only six she could tell he had the potential to be a detective as he grew older because he noticed things no one else did and he sure had the front to ask questions out loud. _

"_Will you be my friend?" He looked at her and was about to say that boys and girls couldn't be friends when he heard Jeremy's voice shouting at him. He smiled at her and nodded._

"_I am your friend!" He said knowing that she'd be the one thing that managed to save him from the horror that was Jeremy and his mammy._

"For the next few years I would go to her house instead of Jeremy's house and our mammy's became close friends. Her father was rarely home and she hated it when he was home. He made her mammy cry. At six, we didn't really understand that this was because her father was abusing her mammy but she always prayed at night that her 'real daddy' would come home." He held onto Jackie's hand for a few more moments before releasing it and standing up.

There was something inside him that told him he should stop talking. They didn't need to know the real reason the two kids were so close to each other. He refilled his glass and thought of how well he had done keeping his life away from the office. He knew they all had their problems. Stuart was dating one of Glasgow's finest gangster's but Stuart never let that get in the way but Burke knew he felt the pressure. Robbie and Jackie were in love with each other but they never did anything about it so Burke had no desire to point it out. Sighing, he turned to look at them.

"Everything changed when we turned sixteen. We'd long since found out our birthdays were on the same day so we did practically everything together. We were practically married before we even hit the legal age!" He laughed sitting down at the table.

_The morning of their sixteenth, Matt woke up in his bed and nearly died when he saw a crying Arlene sat on the end of his bed. He reached up and stroked her cheek tenderly before looking at her. "What's wrong?" He whispered knowing that she obviously needed someone to talk to or she wouldn't have been here at this hour._

"_He killed her." She whispered gently and he knew straight away she was talking about her father. He was back again on one of his routine visits and now that Arlene was older, she understood that the way his mother was treated by her father wasn't completely right so she'd started to spend more time over here with Matt and his parents, who at this time were also starting to have a rocky marriage. _

_Sitting up in his bed, Matt looked over at his friend and didn't even have to ask what she was talking about because deep down he knew. He knew that she was talking about her father and her mother. He held open his arms and together they fell back onto his bed. In that day and age that kind of friendship wasn't really sexual but together they felt comfort and when she did turn her lips up to his, neither of them could resist any longer. Their lips met in the middle and it was innocent, a kiss that clearly showed that it was their first but they didn't stop. They needed this. They both wanted to know that someone out there in the world loved them. _

_Once it ended, she rested her head against his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat. She needed her strength to tell him the next part. They'd meant everything to each other and they'd always promised to be together for each other hence the small cuts on their wrists. That morning when they'd done blood brothers had made them cry a little from the sting because they'd been stupid enough to cut too deep. It made them laugh because the idea was idiotic but at the same time it made them both feel special, wanted and even more importantly, loved. The rhythm of his heartbeat soothed her and when she sat up on her knees, her hands pinning his chest down so he couldn't move, she just forced out the sentence._

"_I have to leave here." _

"_Why?" He whispered not attempting to get up because he could that tell wasn't what she wanted to happen._

"_I killed him." She whispered looking into his eyes and Burke felt something in the pit of his stomach as he looked up at her, his hands taking hold of hers in his as he sat up and looked at her._

"_Oh, Allie..." He whispered unsure what else he could say that to the confession. "I don't want to lose you." He finished off and she just smiled sadly, her head leaning into his where she stole another kiss from his lips. _

"_If I don't go though they'll arrest me and I don't want that..." tears fell down her cheeks and Matt couldn't stand her pain so he kissed away her tears before wrapping her small, trembling body into his arms before closing his eyes so that he could wish that none of this happened. "Mattie." She whispered into his shoulder, her breath warm against the damp spot where her tears had fallen. He released her and sighed before nodding._

"_I understand." He whispered and he fell back onto his bed because he didn't want to watch her go, his heart was breaking enough as it was. When she reached his bedroom door, her hand holding onto the frame, she turned back to look at him and she whispered, "I love you," but he didn't move or respond. He was silently letting his tears fall._

The three stared at him speechless. Their DCI had let a murderer go free and even though they'd heard her story they knew now that was probably why he was always sensitive when it came to these kinds of "passion killings" as they were dubbed by the papers. Burke knew all of them would be judging him now but he didn't care because at sixteen he thought he had done the right thing and he was sticking to his opinion. He moved away to refill his glass realising that this story was easier to tell when slowly feeling numb.

"What did everyone think had happened to her?" Stuart spoke up and asked. Everyone turned to look at him and Robbie winced as he thought he was in for a leathering for being so forward about asking questions.

However, Burke just sat back down at the table and looked at Stuart, "they believed that she'd just simply ran away when she heard her parents arguing and I gave her a strong enough alibi by telling them that was what she always talked about doing." He sighed as his hands trembled. "Her mother's death was ruled as murder and her father's death as suicide because she'd shot him in the head..."

It had taken Burke years to realise that Arlene had tricked him into thinking that she was the innocent party of this crime but as he got more involved with his role as the police and even more when he became a detective, he had realised that her crime had been cold and calculated but he was still to ask her about it. Still to ask her how she could do such a cold-hearted thing.

"Do you still love her boss?"

"Oh that's a whole different story." He chuckled to himself. "She didn't want to get caught so she called herself Allie Creed and that was everyone knew her as. A cute bubbly little girl that had no family but they didn't know why because she never mentioned them. So not to get caught out, we arranged we'd meet every ten years in this one spot."

"Ten years is a long time if you were both in love."

"Sweetheart love like that doesn't last, Jackie, you should know that by now." The comment was a slap round the face for Jackie but she knew what he was saying so she just nodded in response. "But it did stay alive."

_Yesterday was their twenty-sixth birthday and he was walking into the small little village just outside Glasgow where she had made herself a little life. She had a small cottage, a job and a whole new name. She was waiting at the ga\te eagerly that morning and the minute she saw him, she squealed with excitement and ran towards him. Her arms were outstretched waiting for a hug, placing her present down onto the floor, he lifted her into his arms and together they held each other in the middle of the road not wanting to let go. _

"_I love you, Mattie." She whispered taking hold of his lips lightly, her hands running through his head that was still thick with hair – he still had a few years to go before it started to thin – and keeping his lips prisoner underneath hers. When she eventually broke the kiss, she pulled away and beamed at him. He could see that she looked even more beautiful .They wrote to each other often and she'd told him about the friends she'd made, the odd date that he'd gone on but she always mentioned that not one of them were as special to her as her Mattie. She took hold of his hand and led him into her house._

_He smiled as he looked around. "It's really something, Allie." He whispered smiling over at her, his hand taking hold of hers again and pulling her close to him. She was giggling at first but when she suddenly saw the look in his eyes, she knew what it matched how she felt and she silenced her laughing. She reached up and pecked his lips teasingly before moving away to lock the front door. Taking hold of his hand, she led him upstairs to her bedroom. _

_Their lovemaking was simple, innocent and tender. It showed Allie that there was someone finally there to hold her, someone to whisper terms of endearment gently in her ear as they craved her amazing body that had never been touched before. He could tell that immediately from the way she gasped as he entered, from the way she whimpered lightly into his mouth and when she still she mumbled something about being close to her death. He had just chuckled before taking hold of her lips and whispering that he'd follow her. _

_Her eyes had looked at his then, her hands wrapping around his neck as she kissed him herself. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she allowed herself to take control of the situation. She sighed with pleasure as their bodies moved together in sync, her fingernails clawing at his back and when she screamed with ecstaty at the end of it all, Matt had never fell so in love. Sure he'd had previous lovers and even the odd one night stand but it was special with Allie, it was everything he'd ever wanted because they loved each other. _

"_I love you, Allie." He commented lightly before kissing her lips one last time and then he collapsed on the other half of the bed, pulling her into his arms so they could just hold each other like they used to do when they had sleepovers. _

"_I love you more, Mattie." She said in the childish way and he chuckled in his sleepy state as he remembered how many times they'd done that as children and he realised how much he'd craved it in the ten years since she'd left. He'd forgotten how soft her skin was, what her hair smelled like, how feminine her voice was and even more importantly how she felt in his arms. He remembered them all now and he knew he was never going to forget. Not this time. _

"I don't understand, Boss." Robbie said this time his hands listening to the story of love that was unfolding in front of them. "Why didn't you both just run away to Gretna or something and get married."

"I suggested that in our letters but she always evaded answering it. In responding letters, she'd not mention anything back at all about what I'd said previously so eventually I just stopped asking. A guy doesn't like being turned down once never mind a million times." He exaggerated but the team knew that he'd probably asked her several times and each time she'd just rejected him without an answer and even for a tough guy like Burke, that could be an emotional blow.

"Why did she turn you down, Boss?"

"She had a new guy. A man she would eventually go onto marry and ask me to the wedding." He bit his lip tenderly. "I should have known something was bad when she turned up at my doorsteps four years after our day together."

_There was a knock at his door and Burke moved to open it only wearing a pair of sweatpants because he'd just been out on a jog and his shirt had gotten sweaty. Stood at the doorstep was a woman wearing a headscarf, big sunglasses and a bright green trench coat. He took hold of her arm and pulled her into his house before slamming the door shut. "What the hell are you risking here?" He angrily asked her shaking his head with horror before watching as she took off her attire. "What are you doing?" _

_She finished taking off her clothes and moved towards him in a seductive manner, her hand pressing against his heartbeat. "Tell me you love me, Mattie." She whispered sexily and he felt his heartbeat soar as he looked down at her, his head leaning into take hold of her lips but she moved her head away. "Tell me."_

"_I love you, Allie." He whispered taking hold of the hand that she held to his chest and lifting it so that he could press a small kiss against her palm. "I always have and I always will." She closed her eyes as he spoke and this was when he took advantage, he pulled her naked body against his half naked one and kissed her. His lips passionately attacking hers as he his hands snaked down to her bottom and lifted her close against him. She moaned against his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck so that she could feel close to him. _

_They tumbled to the floor and right there in his living room did they become one. Their screams of pleasure echoed and he knew his neighbours would start asking questions but he didn't care because he just wanted her there underneath him because he loved her and couldn't imagine a moment without her. Their lovemaking ended and he stayed leaning over her, his lips intimately pressing against hers before he lifted his head away, smiling when her lips followed. "Marry me...?" He asked her again in person and he watched as her eyes closed and her head started to shake. "Why?"_

"_I'm already engaged." _

"That was a slap round the face for me." He mumbled as he rubbed his hands over his arms. "She went onto tell me that James was a sweet, caring man that wanted her to have everything. He was rich and with him, she'd have so much more than just his name like she'd have got with me. I just remember staring at her as if she was insane. We'd just made love on the floor and she'd forced me at the beginning to tell her that I loved her and then when it came to..." He closed his eyes and Jackie saw that tears were starting to fall.

"Someone should go check on our patient."

"We should also get her out of those wet clothes because that won't be doing anything to help her."

"Then we should ring the doctor." Burke listened to the three of them and smiled through the tears that were threatening to fall. This would be the first time any of them would see him like this and he couldn't help but thank the heavens that they weren't making a big scene but he expected comments off Robbie one day in the future but right now that didn't matter.

"Thank you." He whispered before standing up so that he could go to the bathroom leaving the three of them behind. Robbie looked at Jackie.

"I don't like seeing the boss like this, Jacks."

"No one does, Robbie." She whispered squeezing his hand gently before standing up and looking at the bedroom. "Being the other female, I suppose I pulled going to strip her down, right?"

"You bet." The two guys laughed and Stuart stood up with his cell phone. "I'll ring an emergency doctor."

"And I'll make tea." They both looked at Robbie and he just shrugged his shoulders leaving them two to do their stuff.

Stepping into the room, Jackie saw Arlene stood at the window. She was still wearing the wet clothes and her thin frame was trembling heavily. She moved over and took her into her arms. "Let's get you into some dry clothes."

"Mattie loves me." She whispered in a soft voice almost childlike and Jackie felt as if she was talking to that first Allie Burke had ever met. "He tells me so every time he visits. Does he love you too?" She asked and her voice was laced with jealousy so Jackie knew to shake her head.

"And if he did, not as much as he loves you." She soothed sitting her on the end of the bed and starting to undo the buttons to the coat. "What happened Allie?"

"I was alone and I know that the only person who loves me is Mattie. He's always here for me. He came everyday when I was in the hospital and talked to him about the past and it made me realise that he loves me. He really loves me and I ditched him for James."

"No. You made a wise decision because what you had with Mattie wouldn't have been special if it had been something every day. You needed that moment of freedom whenever you saw him."

"It was wrong to have an affair. I told James about Mattie that night he had a heart attack and my first thought was I could finally be with Mattie but then I realised that I had killed my husband just like I'd..." She went quiet and Jackie stared at her. She knew indeed what was wrong with Allie and why she had started to go insane. Guilt was eating up at her and in this child state, she was safe. It was before everything happened. There was just her and her Mattie in the world. "I wish I'd married Mattie because I love him and he loves me. I love him more than anything in the world. Do you understand love, Miss?" She asked grabbing hold of Jackie's hands.

Jackie hadn't wanted to answer the question but at that moment she heard Robbie's laugh. The same laugh that made her heart do silly little dances in her chest, her stomach tighten in knots and her pulse to race. She looked down at the woman and nodded. "I do understand love, Allie, and like you I'm stupid enough to let it walk past me."

"I'm sleepy. Is it possible for me to go to sleep?" Jackie nodded before pulling the woman's clothes off and placing the oversized tee shirt of Burke's top on her. She helped her back onto the bed and stroked her cheek tenderly. How could Burke have fallen for such a woman? Jackie had imagined him to love big, strong women that didn't allow anyone to control their lives. Women much like herself she concluded.

Closing the door behind her, she saw the three men huddled and talking. She sagged against the door as she saw the way Robbie had his hand tenderly on the boss' shoulder, his smile sympathetic as he listened to what the man had to say. She closed her eyes and listened to what the woman had said to her. Did she want to let love walk away from her?

_The wedding was beautiful. She'd asked Burke to give her away because he was the only family she had left in the world and he'd automatically said yes because he did want to do that last thing for her. He sighed as he took hold of her hand in the vestry. "You look beautiful."_

"_I shouldn't have asked you to come today, Mattie." She whispered tenderly and pressed her forehead against his. He bit back a comment and just smiled._

"_I wouldn't have missed this day for the world, Allie, because I love you." He whispered and when she kissed him gently on the lips, he didn't move away because he knew that was going to be the last time they ever shared this kind of connection again because he didn't want to be the other man. He wanted to be the only man holding and loving her. "Are you ready to go?" He asked as the kiss ended and she nodded._

_The walk down the aisle was difficult for him. He saw the grin on James' face and all he wanted to do was run over there and punch him. To know that his Allie was marrying such a pompous git tore at his heart. At the bottom, Allie turned to look at him and smiled. "I love you, Mattie." She whispered like she always did when they said goodbye and then she pressed a small kiss against his lips obviously not caring that the family of her husband-to-be were watching them._

_Burke had just smiled and whispered, "I love you more, Allie," in response before moving to sit in his pew. The ceremony was beautiful and by the end of it, most of the congregation had welled up in tears. _"You may kiss the bride," _was said and Burke couldn't help but turn away because he didn't want to see his Allie with someone else. He left and when Allie turned to look for him, all she saw was his retreating back leave the church. _

"She always said that a little bit of her heart died that day when I walked out on her." He muttered downing his whiskey and looking at his watch. "Where the hell is this doctor?" He growled at Stuart who just stared back at him in a defiant manner.

"He had other patients to see first." Stuart pointed out sitting down on the couch and staring at the blank T.V screen, his arms wrapping around himself as he tried to fight back the urge to curl up and sleep. They'd been up since six am and yet here they are at 3 am the next morning, all awake in Burke's house.

"You can go home if you want, Stuart?" Jackie mumbled and Burke turned quickly as if to say no he couldn't go home. Jackie said "you can have a quick nap on the couch if you want." Burke's smile was obvious so Stuart took off his shoes and curled up on the couch while Robbie settled in the arm chair.

Burke and Jackie headed back into the kitchen and Jackie looked at him. "I think I've worked out what triggered her mental illness." Burke looked over at her, his whiskey glass settling down on the kitchen counter. When he didn't say anything, Jackie just continued, "I think she's feeling guilty about her killing her father and even worse, she feels guilty that the night James..."

"Don't say his name in my house." Burke growled suddenly and Jackie moved towards him and rested her hand on his shoulder,

"What did he do to make you hate him this much?" She knew there was no way he'd react like this just because James married Allie. There had to be an underlying reason. There had to be something much worse.

"He blackmailed. He could end my career, Jackie..."

_Burke was sat at his desk and read through all the notes of the latest case. He could see his team working busily on their notes and stuff when the door to his office slammed shut. James McCoy stood in front of him and he groaned. He'd avoided Allie at most occasions but it didn't stop her from ringing and writing to him. "What can I do for you James?"_

"_I don't want to seem childish but I know something that you don't know I know."_

"_You're right. You do sound childish." He commented dryly before waving his hands over the pile of paperwork. "I have a lot of work to do so how about doing what you came for and then going straight back to Airdrie so that I don't have to see your face again."_

"_Now, now Matthew do play nice! Did you not hear me when I said I knew something?"_

"_What do you want, McCoy?"_

"_Well my nightclub is in a spot of bother for drugs and I was wondering if you could get it wiped off the file."_

"_Now why would I want to do that?"_

"_Because I know about you helping Allie run away and you wouldn't want that getting out. I mean, look at how amazing your career is!" Burke's fists tightened into fists as he stood up and looked over at McCoy. _

"_Do you even love Allie?"_

"_Not as much as she loves you or you love her but enough to keep her as my wife for as long as I need her. I mean, she has such amazing potential thanks to where you are in the world." He stood up and smiled at Burke. "Do I expect my drug offence to have been wiped clean?"_

_Burke wanted to argue and say no but he knew that would make him lose his career, a career that he much loved and deserved. He sighed and nodded, "I'll see what I can do."_

"_That's my boy!" He headed to the door but then stopped. "Let's not tell Allie of this. It might upset her." And with that he left, Burke glared after him and knew that he more angry at Allie for being stupid enough to tell him anything._

"Oh God, sir!" She muttered thinking of how many times he'd had a go at them for doing something against the book and now she knew it was because he didn't want their own careers to be on the line. She didn't think any less of him but she could see why he'd kept it quiet. "You removed the drug offence?"

"I sure as hell did and refused to speak to either of them again." He bit his lip gently and looked at her. "I froze that one woman I love out of my life just to make it easier on me because there wasn't much more I could do without hurting her or me and every day it hurts. I see you and Robbie together in the office and it just makes me wish that I'd that. I've been alone all these years waiting for that moment she screams my name and holds me close to her again..."

As if by coincidence, Allie's voice called out his name and he ran to the room. She was sat upright, her arms wrapped around knees which her chin rested on and she rocked herself gently. Jackie looked at her and then at Burke who was slowly moving towards her. She looked up at him. "Tell me you love me, Mattie."

"Allie..." He drawled sitting down next to her on the bed, his arm wrapping around her shoulder but she didn't desist.

"Tell me!" She shouted over and over again until eventually he looked at her before taking hold of one of her hands, pressing it tenderly against his lips.

"I love you Allie and I always will. My life is not worth living if I didn't have this love I feel for you." Jackie watched as he turned their wrists round where both their scars rested and he pressed his lips against hers. "I love you."

"Why?" She asked through her tears that had started to fall. "I made your life a living hell and now you tell me that you still love me?"

"Allie..."

"I have a confession, Mattie." She whispered as her hands trembled slightly in his and he nodded his head indicating that she could start talking. "I've got terminal cancer and they didn't give me long left to live so I want to end it all but I want to die in your arms."

Jackie felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Stuart and Robbie stood there next to her. They had obviously heard her confession too because their faces wore stunned expressions. Jackie allowed Robbie to hold on to her as they listened to Allie finish.

"I don't expect you to do anything to help me. I just want you to hold me." She whispered stroking his cheek tenderly. "Just like you did when I was in the hospital and when we had sleepovers or after dad had struck mammy. I want to die knowing that you still love me and you always will."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He whispered biting back tears as he listened to what she said. He obviously wasn't going to refuse her this last wish but he wanted to know why she'd struggled with it alone. He pulled her onto his lap as if she was a small child again, his hand running through the wild ginger hair. "I love you." He whispered again and nodded. "I'll lie with you."

"I know they're your friends but I just want it to be..." She stopped talking as if she couldn't speak past the lump in her throat, her head burrowing into his neck as her shoulders shook with the tears. He nodded and they all left so they could be alone. Lying down on the bed, he held her close to him.

_It had been twelve years since the incident in the office. Burke and Allie were now forty-three and hadn't contact in twelve years. He loved and missed her ut he sure as hell wasn't backing down now. He had a new team to work with. His DI was a playboy that he just wanted to strangle at time, his DC was a hormonal woman that was just going through a divorce and she was too busy grieving over the death of her previous boss and he was just starting to lose his rag. This team was to be his new home for a while according to the super so he just grinned half the time to bear the pain he felt inside._

_That night he sat at home reading the case notes they'd already gathered when there was a knock at his front door. Standing up, he moved over and opened it. There were a few moments of silence as he stared into Allie's green eyes. He eventually sighed and shook his head, "You shouldn't be here."_

"_Don't close the door on me, Mattie." She pleaded putting her hands on the door and he looked at her. She looked desperate as if she really wanted him to understand that she needed to talk to him. "I don't understand why you hate me so much, Mattie. You said you loved me!"_

"_I do love you and by removing you from my life I've done the one thing in the world that stops us both from being hurt!" He growled but opened the door so she could come inside. She took off her coat and he saw the purple bruises on her neck and he moved towards her. "He did this to you..."_

"_It was obvious that after years of watching my mum be abused I would fall for the one prick that would beat me up." She laughed before moving towards him and wrapping her arms around his middle, "I love you, Mattie."_

_He just sighed and moved her away from him, his head shaking. "We can't do this to each other anymore, Allie." He whispered holding onto the top of her arms. "You're married and I can't just be the other man. I want to be your only man."_

"_I want that too!" She shouted out taking hold of him. "I want to leave him and I want you to love me again because without you in my life, I have nothing left to live for and I don't like living like that. I hate not knowing I have the love of my Mattie! Why don't you just give me a chance?"_

"_You'll always have my love, Allie. Why do you think I'm unmarried? I'm unmarried because you're the only thing in my world!" He retorted and he just moved away from her so that he could sit down on the chair where he'd left his work. "I love you, Allie." He whispered looking at her and shook his head. "So to show my love I let you get on with your life and that's what you did. Why are you back now?"_

"_Because I love you too." She whispered moving over to him and kneeling at his feet, her hands pressing against his knees and he saw the scars running up and down her arms. Biting back tears, he just looked at her. _

"_I can't be the other man. I refuse."_

"_I don't want you to be. I want you to be the only man." She whispered holding him close and then smiling. "Can we go snuggle in bed like we used to?" He went to respond and as if psychic, she shook her head. "No sex required." He smiled and took hold of her hand._

_Lying in his bed, her head resting against his chest he felt peaceful. He felt as if this was how it was supposed to be and he cared even more now that she was here. "I want you to end your marriage but only if you're determined that is what you want to do."_

"_I want to do that because I love you." She whispered pressing a tender kisses to the spot on his chest where his heart was. He now knew he was a goner and he loved her even more at that moment. He didn't care that he knew she would be too terrified to tell her husband. The dream was enough for him._

Lying back on the spare bed, Burke wrapped his arms around her as he watched her pull out a bottle from her coat pocket. "What's in that?" She looked over at him, her green eyes had long since lost their sparkle and she just shook her head. He'd be better off not knowing what was in her bottle. She downed the bottle and he got the odd whiff of vodka so he immediately could tell that it was a cocktail of alcohol and drugs.

"This death will probably be ugly, Allie..." He warned and she just looked at him.

"That's why I'm doing it in your arms. You'll take away the pain." She whispered snuggling into his arms. He looked down at her. "I love you, Mattie." She whispered stroking his cheek gently and he smiled, catching it with his lips and pressing a kiss against it. No matter how many times he heard her say it, he still got excited with every time.

"I love you more, Arlene." At the use of her real name, she smiled against his chest and couldn't help but press a kiss to where his heart was. This was how it should have always been since the day they turned eighteen. They should have laid in bed every night, wearing matching rings and planning exciting activities to do with their children the next morning. It seemed so effortless now but he knew that it was his fault. That night when she ran away, he should have followed her.

"Mattie, don't think of sad things." She whispered into his chest as she started to shiver. He held onto her with all his might and realised that the tears would come when she slipped away. "Just be happy that it ended the way it was supposed to be. Me with you and you with me." He laughed at her sentence and nodded.

"That's all that matters now." He just held onto her rocking her as she eventually started to convulse in his arms, tears slid down his cheeks as he called for Jackie, for Stuart, even for Robbie. "I love you, Arlene." He whispered as she eventually stopped moving, her chest stopped rising and her eyes dilated. Tears fell down his cheeks as he grabbed a tissue and wiped the foam away from her mouth, his hands trembling as he knelt onto the bed next to her.

_They'd sent her to a mental institute. They claimed it was the best thing for her and even though he disagreed, he didn't argue too much. He held a bouquet of white lilies, her favourite flowers, and a box of chocolates because he knew she had a sweet tooth. He arrived at her room and smiled at her sitting in the rocking chair. "Allie..." He called gently as he handed her nurse the flowers and went to sit on the bed watching her._

"_He died because of us, Mattie, and we still can't be together because they've locked me in here. They think I'm insane." She whispered turning to look at him, her smile dazzling as she laughed. "They just don't realise that love makes any sane person act like this. They're insane for thinking that locking me up in here would keep me away from you."_

"_I know, sweetheart." He whispered back accepting the hug she offered him, her lips pressing lightly against his. They laid in the bed together and he sighed. "The doctor believes you're grieving more than your husband, Allie. They'll probably start asking questions about your parents. It is time to come clean about your identity, honey."_

"_I don't want to..." She whispered and he just nodded his head so she would think that he understood when really he knew he'd be able to convince her. "You should probably leave. It'll be medication time soon." She knelt up next to him, her hand running over his hair. "I love you, Mattie and I'm sorry for the pain I've put you through and the pain I'll no doubt put you in our future together."_

"_As long as we have a future together, I can take every second of pain." He whispered kissing her. "I'll come back tomorrow."_

"_Yes please." She whispered lying down on her bed and burying her face into her pillow._

She'd run away by the time he got back that next morning and he'd not heard a word from her since the minute that she'd walked into the club this evening. He looked down at her and wasn't surprised when Jackie came and put her arms around him. "She loved you, Boss."

"I loved her too." He whispered through his tears as he held onto her and laughed. "She's finally back with her mammy and her dad. Maybe they'll all have a happy reunion."

"Or she'll wait for you to join her again so that you can lay together." Stuart whispered before watching as Robbie covered her with a sheet and then phoned for an ambulance even though they all knew they couldn't do anything now.

"Yes, you're right." He mumbled before leaving the bedroom.

*******

A week later, the five - Ewan had came with Stuart - of them were the only ones to gather around her grave as she was placed into the ground for eternal rest. Jackie held onto Robbie's hand but what she really wanted to do was hold onto Burke because he looked a mess. She didn't like seeing him such an emotional wreck and she knew that he probably wouldn't be the same when they returned to work.

They moved away from the graveside to allow Burke to say his final goodbye. He knelt down next to the ground and stroked the cross that had been placed there until they put the actual grave. His tears were ones of joy that she'd finally been able to leave a world that had done nothing but torment her.

"I love you more, Allie." He whispered as he usual before standing up and accepting the embrace off Jackie but refused to go with them to the club. He just wanted to go home, climb into his pyjamas and curl up in his bed. To be alone was the only thing he desired right now. She understood and just took hold of Robbie's hand. Ever since her talk with Arlene, she'd found the courage to tell Robbie that she loved him and he'd told her it was about bloody time. They were officially an item now.

That night he laid in his bed and smiled as he looked up at the ceiling, his hand settling on his heart, the one place where Allie would always kiss on her own because he was normally the one to start the kisses. There was a small smile on his face as he slipped into a never ending pit of black.

_The ginger hair was loose over her shoulders as she danced around the summer field. The white dress she wore glowed and he couldn't help but laugh as he took hold of her hand and ran with her over the grass. Eventually he lost his footing and he fell to the floor. She laughed and laid next to him, her head resting on his chest. "I love you, Mattie." She whispered as she laced their fingers together, her lips pressing against his heart again._

"_I love you more, Allie."_

_That was how they remained for all eternity. Lying together with their hands held, her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. They laid together just like it was supposed to be in the beginning. _


End file.
